Friday, August 21, 2009

A Year Ago Today

One year ago today I was 17w3d pregnant. It was a big day for us. We were going to find out if we were going to have a little girl or boy! I knew it was gonna be a girl :-). We also found out the news that the little baby i was carrying was not "normal".
I remember getting up that day going into work being so super excited. I even dressed nicer for that day:-) I went to work for a few hours barely getting anything done because I was watching the clock waiting for my appointment. My mom and sisters were going to meet Michael and I at El Fenix after the appointment so we could tell them what we having.
Michael picked me up at work and we drove on over to the doctors office. The doctor started the sonogram and immediately told us he sees some things that he does not like. He proceeded to tell us that our baby had spina bifida, a lemon shape head, and enlarged ventricles. "It does not look good" is what he said. I looked at Michael and he just had a blank expression on his face, then i started crying. I did not know anything about any of the things he just said. He said it could be genetic, etc. So he said he could do an amnio that day. After he explained a little about what the baby had i remembered to ask what we were having. lol. I completely forgot about my reason for being there:-). He said he was going to call my OB doctor and have us go talk to her.
We went over to talk to my OB and she had absolutely nothing good to say. She just kept telling us how bad it was going to be, that the baby was in really bad shape, had alot of issues, we should consider terminating, etc. But we immediately knew that we were going to keep the baby and give her the shot at life she deserves. I asked my doctor to send me to another sono doctor for a second opinion and she said there was no need, that he was the best. She then sent us over to the NICU to talk to one of the doctors so he could explain more to us. He was alot more assuring about everything.
The next morning I woke up and just cried. I was so upset. I had already done a ton of research on spina bifida, etc. We called and made our own appointment with a specialist and were set to be in the following week. Within a few days I was feeling much better about it all. We finally went and met with the sono doctor and he said she did not have spina bifida but did have a lemon shape head, enlarged ventricles, and an encephalocele. I was so excited about her not having the spina bifida that I did not ask much about the rest. When I got home i researched some more. I scared my self to death looking up encephaloceles. They literally only put the worst case scenarios on the Internet. From there we just went about the pregnancy knowing my little girl was going to have some struggles in life, but we were willing to do whatever we could for our sweet little baby.
Today Bryleigh is 7mo3w old. She is absolutely perfect to us. She is doing so much better than i had prepared myself for. God gave me this little girl and gave me the strength to care for her and give her what she needs. I would not change our experience for the world. I thank God everyday that I did not listen to my fisrt OB doctor (I switched). I could not imagine our lives right now without Bryleigh. In a way I feel privileged that God chose me to care for a child with "special needs". Its hard to explain what I mean by that but I am sure some of the other mommies may know what I mean. Bryleigh is so special to our family! Every little things she does absolutely amazes me. Her being able to do things that others said she would never do makes it that much more special. God has been so great to us!


Sherri said...

Thanks for sharing this post. God certainly places these wonderful children with the perfect Moms. Thank God she is doing SO awesome!!

Kristen said...

I know exactly what you are saying. I was pondering this all just the other day. I still vividly recall all details of the day we found out Cayman's diagnosis. It was dreadful hearing the poor expectations of our baby, but I don't feel disappointed in the doctors' pessimistic point of views. It makes everything Cayman does now all the more joyful!

What a beautiful person you are for seeing the honorable calling of being a mom of a special needs baby.


Michelle said...

I don't always get a chance to post comments as often as I'd like, but I have been watching Bryleigh since you started blogging. What a wonderful thing you have done by sharing the story of this beautiful little girl. I have really enjoyed watching her grow, and I know other Mom's just getting their diagnosis will benefit greatly from your words.

Tyler said...

The day we find out about our little ones seems to stick in our minds so vividly. Thank you for sharing your words. I believe God chose the right mommy for Bryleigh. She is a true blessing and can't wait to hear more amazing stories and accomplishments.

Diane, Tyler's mom

Stefani said...

Thank you for sharing, Stephanie! Just think about how much you've learned about yourself in the last year. Bryleigh is such a happy baby and it's all a evidence that you were meant to be her Mommy and you're doing exactly what God had intended. You're doing an awesome job - just like God knew you'd do.

Renee' said...

Your post is so beatiful.I am so happy that you have Bryleigh and never gave up on her. I don't get why doctors automatically tell people to terminate when something looks wrong...Look atBryleigh today so beatiful and developing and growing like a weed. God is the one and only "great physician" and he knew from the time of your birth that Bryleigh was going to be your daughter and You have done such a wonderful job and are a great Mom. Thanks for sharing your blog with us all. Have a great weekend.

Angie said...

What a wonderful post! I hate it how doctors always have to tell you the worst case scenario. They were like that with Joey, telling us he would not lead a normal life, that he would be severly disabled, both mentally and physically. That he would need a wheelchair, would never be normal. And that we should terminate. I'm so glad I didn't listen. Because Joey is just as wonderful as can be! He has beaten so many odds already. Bryleigh is such a sweet little girl! She is so blessed to have a wonderful mommy like you :)

Lisa said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean. Exactly. I look at Elisabeth with the deepest gratitude that God was willing to trust me with her.

This post really connected to me. So much of it was exactly what I experienced. Thank you for sharing this. Your little girls is so beautiful!!!